The rhyming slang of cockney
And what it means, maybe
Played on a ukulele
Here we go
Two and eight – in a state
Trouble and strife – that’s the wife
Hugs and kisses – that’s the missus
Dog and bone – on the phone
Hamstead Heath – where’s me teeth?
This is cockney slang
Whistle and flute – that’s a suit
Almond rocks – a pair of socks
Plates of meat – that’s yer feet
Daisy roots – a pair of boots
One and twos – a pair of shoes
This is cockney slang
Bottle stopper – here comes a copper
Sweeny Todd – Flying Squad
Bird Lime – Doing time
Tea leaf – there’s a thief
Nicked a jam jar – stole a car
This is cockney slang
Adam and Eve it – would you believe it
Battle cruiser – down the boozer
Rub a dub dub – I’m in the pub
Ball and chalk – gone for a walk
Frog and toad – gone up the road
This is cockney slang
Alan Whickers – a pair of knickers
Donkey’s ears – lots of years
Barnet fair – look at the hair
George Raft – bit of a draft
Bubblebath – having a laugh
This is cockney slang
Apples and pears – up the stairs
Jimmy riddle – having a piddle
Raspberry tart – I hope it’s a fart
Strawberry tart – a sweetheart
Bread and honey – lots of money
This is cockney slang
Brown bread – the song is now dead
(Terry Kirby)