I once had a car, one that was wanted
But the road taxman got to hear of it and decided he’s gonna sort it
Seven hundred and twenty-five of your British pounds
I couldn’t afford that, another car to be found
A rust-bucket got me through the next few months
A Nissan appeared on the web and after it I pounced
It drove just like a go-kart, I was as happy as could be
But I thought I had a puncture, so off to Kwik Fit for me
I bought a money pit
It’s a heap of shit
My money pit
Good news came on the tyres, your front ones are brand new
But your back ones need changing, as they are cracked right through
Although the tyre is new, the wheel is shot to bits
A temporary repair was made, rear tyres changed and fixed
On the way home, the airbag light came on
I took it to the garage, an airbag spring it had gone
I waited two days for bits plus one day to mend
What a heap of crap I’ve bought, when’s the faults going to end?
I bought a money pit
It’s been a heap of shit
My little money pit
3000 went by, started firing on three
What now, I thought, can this thing be?
So I changed the plugs, cleaned the wires, took half a day
Surely this has fixed it, but the car thought - no way!
You Tube was the way to go, and a man said what I need
Is a tack hammer, hit the computer feed
This did the trick, what more could go wrong?
Betcha bloody life, it didn’t take all that long
I bought a money pit
What a heap of shit!
My little money pit
It ran OK once the engine warmed, I let a mechanic try his luck
He drove it round the block, said the brakes are fucked
I left the car for him to fix, the brakes have turned to dust
I’ll leave it with you to do your best if you must
Changed brake disc, pads and shoes and exhaust as well
And he gave me the bill, I said “Bloody hell!”
To the bank for overdraft and loan
To pay for my money pit, so far I haven’t moaned
My money pit
It’s still a heap of shit!
My little money pit
My money pit
A total heap of shit!!
My little money pit
(Terry Kirby)